Maintaining & being in a relationship is the most enjoyable and pleasant period of our life. One of the most important proficiency that needs to be devised in order to sustain a long running relationship is listening to your partner. Relationship is a bond between people where they share their experiences, joys, sorrows with each other and they trust the other person to feel the same way.
If you are good in listening skills you have better chance to enjoy harmonious relationship, this will also bring admiration and support from your fellow employees also. In your day to day life you have to communicate to your partner, boss, children and friends so mastering the art of communication is a must.
Ideally, you should ask yourself whether you are a good listener. Can you still be quite even the other person is wrong? Or do you feel restless when the silence between you and your partner goes into eternity?
If you find trouble answering in Yes then read the following article to help yourself in sustaining a long term relationship.
Tips To Sustain Longer Relationships
- – Always keep a desire to listen to your partner, children, and friends. Do not look distracted when the other person is talking to you. If you are doing something important the politely ask to wait for some time until you finish your stuff.
- – Do not interrupt the other person in the middle of his/her conversation. Do not try to give your advice in the middle of a communication by interrupting others. Just listen until the other person is done and if you want to give a piece of advice now is the correct time.
- – Do not prepare your answer while they are talking. Try to stay only in the listening mode. Once you have all the information you will be more prepared to respond.
- – Do not engage in selective listening. Listen to the words, facts and overall content of the person’s story. Do not just pay attention to what you find interesting.
- – Observe facial expressions while listening. Also notice gestures, eye movement and body posture. This will give you information as to what they might be feeling about their conversation, more information to help you understand.
The second part of the skill is learning to reflect back what you heard the person saying. Paraphrasing and repeating back what you heard allows the person to know you have been listening. It keeps clarity in conversation and allows for overall better communication. This is also a skill that requires some practice. Here are a few tips.
- – Try to briefly summarize what you heard them say and repeat it back to them.
- – Ask them is this is what they were trying to tell you. If not, try again to summarize or ask them to repeat part of what you did not understand.
- – Do not immediately respond with your belief, opinion or advise before you have clarified their position. Only give advice if they are asking for it.
- – Use empathy in your response instead of being judgmental. Be neutral and clarify what you heard their feelings, thoughts or opinions are. Do not yell, argue or criticize. Ask more questions. Try asking why, when, where or who questions. This gives you more information.
- – Determine what they need from you. Would they like you just to listen and say nothing, give feedback, provide advice, help them problem solve a situation. Of course, if you are talking to young children you may have to interrupt this yourself and offer what your intuition feels they need.
Whether you are in contact with your children, boss, husband, or wife or significant others these tools are valuable. For the next week or so try to exercise these new skills. Observe what happens when you listen and respond in an empathic manner instead of with advise, opinion or judgments. Make a note of the new interaction and compare it with your old way of listening or not listening. Observe their manner; are they calmer, more appreciate? What do you notice?
We all have a need to be listened to and understood. Most of us grew up with not enough of the focused attention we need. As a result we are all a little deprived, that is why so many of us want to talk and talk and talk and listening is something that we just don’t know how to do. In fact we are uncomfortable with being quiet and still.
By following the above tips you will not find yourself in a conflicting position. Leave me a comment and let me know whether the above tips help you in any way. Don’t forget to subscribe to RSS for free updates delivered to your mailbox.