The divorce rate in the U.S is staggeringly high at 40 to 50%. The failure rate of second marriages can climb even higher and by a third marriage, it’s nearly 75%. These numbers seem to suggest that multiple marriages are anything but good and possibly there are issues going on that are not being addressed.
Even with these statistics, there are many people who have found someone perfectly fit for them, the second time around. Others don’t find the right formula until the third or fourth time which indicates the search for true love is stronger than statistics.
There are many studies that have shown certain factors that make some marriages likely to fail. Understanding and dealing with these factors can eliminate the risks ahead and allow a marriage to work.
Here are factors prepared by a Russian Brides from Ru-Brides.com that can lead to a second marriage failing:
You Are On The Rebound
There are many people who cannot stand to be alone for any given amount of time. They feel their lives are complete failures if they don’t have someone to hold on to. People on the rebound of a past relationship, tend to date someone then end it and continue the same actions over and over again. Rebound is even stronger after a failed marriage that ended very poorly. There is a strong desire to replace their mate with someone as quickly as possible in order to get back to normal.
Any marriage that happens out of fear of being alone will likely end up in total failure. Really getting to know someone is not going to happen quickly or overnight. Not all second marriages on the rebound fail,but are more likely to because all the signs are there.
Building Walls For Protection
Whether a marriage ended due to divorce or death, these people become quite afraid and extremely vulnerable. Going through a horrible, emotional situation will leave people building walls in order to protect themselves from future hurt. They are constantly waiting for something bad to happen and are always looking over their shoulders.
A lasting, good relationship cannot flourish under such unhealthy environments. At the first sign of trouble, you will probably just pack up and move on. Other signs of over-protection come from irrational behaviors such as unwarranted jealousy or other suspicions. This will become impossible for your spouse to deal with, so they will abandon ship.
Can’t Get Back In The Game
People who have been divorced or widowed. for a long period of time, do not have a desire to date. They have built a life that suits them and cannot imagine why they’d go through another long-term relationship. You might be skeptical about a new mate and feel your life would not as comfortable as what you are enjoying now. Many couples will work out these fears while they are dating, but others just won’t get back into the game.
Your Career & Children
If you are firmly set your career and have children from a previous marriage, this can be a difficult situation to build another relationship on. You own your home and are financially stable, you have children that are still very young or getting ready to move on to college. There are some families that will work out their differences, there are others who can’t seem to do it.
What You Can Do To Make Your Next Marriage A Success
When it comes to relationships, there are no guarantees to ultimate success. There are a few things you can do to help you find a successful marriage.
Work Out Your Grief
An ended marriage leaves behind a great deal of guilt, rejection, and sadness. In the quake of a really bad marriage, there could be many emotional and psychological issues. Another marriage will be built on a rocky ledge if these issues are not worked out. Understand and respect your past marriage as a part of your life that is now in the past. Many people will seek out friends, family members or a therapist to help them work these problems out.
Work Things Out During The Dating Phase
While dating, both of you need to get to know each other, discuss past situations and discover if this relationship is a good match. You must be really sure that you are both compatible now, not on the day of your wedding.
Bringing Your Families Together
This can be difficult but will breed a bed of bad feelings if you cannot get your children involved. While you are casually dating, introduce your kids to your date. When you find that special someone, you children will probably more willing to accept this person into your life. You should still sit down and talk to them, help them understand that this person is not replacing their past mother or father – they are simply joining the family unit. If you need help, talk with child psychologists that can offer you some valuable advice.
Decide whether you want to find a good relationship that will lead to a good marriage or feel you’d rather just date casually. Know your shortcomings, address them and have a fulfilling, happy life!