Going on a first date can be a nerve-wracking experience. There’s such a mixed bag of emotions that come with going on a date, let alone going on a first date. There’s anxiety, there’s fear, there are questions and there’s lots of excitement. And really when it comes to first dates there are three stages. You have the pre-date action, the date itself and then there is the post-date. Depending on how things play out, all three can be quite stressful. But when you’re prepared and you feel good, things just may flow a lot easier.
Regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman, sexual orientation or age, first dates take a lot out of you. There are so many ducks to put in a row with the hope that things will go well and there will be subsequent dates, each more comfortable than the one before it. But if we’re being totally honest here, and we are, guys getting ready for a first date is usually a lot different than girls getting ready for a date, so make sure you give yourself enough time to check off all of the things you need to take care of prior to your date. If you need to get those brows under control or a fresh coat of polish before you step out your door, check out https://shop.beautyjunkees.com/products/clear-brow-gel, if you need to drop off or pick up your dry cleaning, whatever it is, give yourself enough time to handle it all.
Now, this may seem totally unrelated, but it matters a lot. First of all, it will make a difference in how you feel about yourself. Having your living space neat and orderly is a lot like the feeling you get when you just get out of the shower, fresh and refreshed. This is a low-key confidence booster. Not to mention, that when you come home from your date, you will have a clean home to welcome you with open arms.
The other reason you want to tidy up is for insurance. Let’s say that your date goes extremely well and you two end up back at your place. If you failed to complete this crucial step, you are definitely not making the best impression. You don’t want your date to think you’re a slob, living in a total pig sty. If you clean regularly, make sure you freshen up the areas that need freshening or organizing.
So you’ve met, whether it’s online or the old-fashioned way, and agreed to get together to test your compatibility, now what? You don’t want to micro-manage, but you do want to check-in the day before or the day of your date if you’re the one who is doing the date planning. Make sure you both know where to meet or who is picking up who and at what time. If a meal is involved, be sure to ask about food preferences and allergies into consideration.
Get Ready Early
You don’t want to keep your date waiting on the first date if it can be avoided. As we discussed earlier, it’s important to give yourself enough time to get ready. Both men and women tend to go through at least one outfit change before presenting themselves on a date. First dates are stressful enough without adding time crunching to the equation. Rushing just adds to the tension, so try to get as much done as you can beforehand.
Some things you can do ahead of time include, choosing your outfit and accessories, packing your purse or date emergency kit, testing out potential hairstyles or hair cut and dyeing your hair. If you’re the kind of person who enjoys being “fashionably late,” make sure that you’re not too late, because being inconsiderate of your date’s time may not go over too well, even if you do show up looking like a movie star.
Taking a shower or a bath is a must unless it’s a lunch date during your workday. Take your toothbrush to work if you are doing lunch. Get a fresh shave, wax or whatever hair removal method you like. Make sure your nails are neat and clean or apply nail polish if you like.
This step cannot, I repeat, cannot be omitted. You must be prepared. Here are a few key items to have on hand.
- Both ladies and men should have a condom. Always be safe and prepared when you get down.
- Money is a must, whether you plan on footing the bill or not. You never know when you may need to grab a taxi or leave a tip. Cash is the better option, but a credit card will also do just fine.
- A fully charged phone will keep you in the loop. Whether you need directions or you just want to settle the debate about who produced your favorite song or what exactly goes into an authentic molé sauce, a fully charged phone just might become your lifeline.
- Ladies should always have spare feminine hygiene products.
- Gum or breath mints can free your mouth from the garlic sesame noodles or just ensure pleasant breath. The last thing you want to do is singe your date’s nose hairs with the dragon’s fire bad breath.
In addition to having all of the essentials, make sure you know where you’re going and if there is a dress code. It’s always a good idea to have your own transportation when you’re going on a first date. The main reason being that if you need to make a quick getaway, you’re depending on someone else to get to a place you feel safe, happy and comfortable.
Dos and Don’ts
There are some things you want to do and other things you definitely want to stay away from. Everyone is unique and has their own quirks, so please do have an open mind. Of course, there will be some things that are absolute deal breakers, but first dates are all about potential, and a closed mind has a hard time finding potential.
Please do bring your manners. Exhibiting common courtesy and a little chivalry can go a long way. If you know cheese makes you gassy, don’t order pizza. If you know you do a lot of talking during a movie, perhaps a movie shouldn’t be your first date. Be kind, and don’t be overly critical about your date out loud if you can avoid it.
Don’t get hammered before or during your date. Drink in moderation. Many failed first dates are found at the bottom of a bottle. Even if you’re nervous before your date and you take a drink, don’t forget to add that to your drink count for the date. You really don’t want to overdo it. It may reduce the likelihood of you getting taken advantage of and you make a horrible first impression.
Don’t go into detail about your past dating life. Unless you two are making some sort of game out of it. And even then you should be careful what you say. Operate under the principle that you say can and will be held against you.
Be a good listener and don’t be argumentative. You’ve got to pay attention and be engaged, but you don’t want to start petty arguments over differences of opinion. If you’re really not feeling the date, do your best or just throw in the towel and kindly end the date early.
Don’t order a 5-course meal or the most expensive items if you can’t pay for it. Taking advantage of your date’s generosity is very impolite and is sure to be noticed.
Do be yourself. Pretending to be someone you are not or lying about your likes and dislikes will come out eventually should the to of you continue dating. It’s not always easy to feel confident in who you are when you’re on a first date. But if you misrepresent yourself now you may be headed for trouble.
Don’t push for intimacy. It’s the first date. If your date progresses there on its own, fine. But you definitely don’t want to be pushy about it, as it can be a real turn off. If your date was thinking about seeing you again, you just might kill your chances. If your date is really into you, sex will come, just be patient. Dating can be a scary thing at times, but when you properly prepare and relax little great things can happen. You just might meet the special one you’ve been looking for. Or maybe you will end up with a great new friend that truly enriches your life. Whether your first date develops into something awesome or becomes a learning experience you can grow from, this step-by-step guide can get you through the initial steps. Trust your process and try to have a good time. Be authentically you and make no apologies for it.