Dating Relationships Don’t Panic for Sexual Rejection

sex_on_leaveHave you ever wondered your hubby saying “Honey i am having an headache” or “Sorry sweety, lets go to sleep today”, you felt bad, embarrassed, a bit low and want to tell him but when you turn to him, he is asleep. Just remember he loves you, don’t take it as a personal rejection. Just try to understand him and known the reason behind that. Don’t get frustrated or feel inadequate lover, spouse if your sexual advances are turned down by your man.

MELTDOWN IN BED

The current trend of sexless marriages, due to lowered self-esteem of men facing a financial crisis and resultant stress, is leading to various reactions among women. Some working women who are aware of the global crisis, show grater empathy and do not blame their partner for the financial situation, or the subsequent lack of interest in sex. Instead , they assume the role of sounding board, and so attempt to motivate them to be optimistic and to deal with crisis together.

On the other hand, some women add to their husband’s woes by being confrontational, demanding, aggressive and blaming them for the loss of both, money and sex and launch a direct attack an their partner,s manhood. This only makes matter worse, as the most vulnerable areas of a man are targeted. the woman, who has shoved a guilt-trip down her husband;s throat, can be rest assured that the financial crises may end, but her sex life will never improve.

Some women get confused with a sudden withdrawal of sex and might suspect that their husband is having an extra marital affair. This can be because of stress, anxiety or overwork.

Women need to understand to understand that sex is not between the legs but between the ears, and therefore also understand that a healthy and a relaxed mind is important for mutually satisfying physical intimacy.

SELF-WORTH FACTOR

Some women get confused and anxious with the sudden withdrawal of sex, get depressed and might suspect that their husband is having an extra marital affair or satisfying his sexual urges in other ways. Such anxious women must de-link affection and physical intimacy, and be educated about temporary psychological impotence stemming from increased stress.

In some cases, over consumption of alcohol can be a problem, especially with regular drinkers who try to deal with stress via alcohol. This takes a huge toll on the relationship, as the woman finds it difficult to empathize with a husband who gets drunk every night, whines about problems, and doesn’t wish to address the crisis in a logical manner.

In such a condition, marriage counselings helps, the man deal with the financial and sexual lull in life.

A man can be taught to reach out and be sensitive to his wife’s needs, and the woman can be educated to not make it all about herself, be emotionally available and not use the husband’s vulnerability against him ever. The couple must remember that this a temporary  but crucial phase and how they handle it together decides the future status of the relationship. Moreover, the emotional intimacy during this crisis can strengthen some surprising moments of physical intimacy, emerging from such emotional bonding.

HOW TO COPE

  • - A wife could use these troubled times to build the emotional intimacy and companionship with her husband, educate herself about the finer details of his problem and engage him in small joys in an un-pressurizing manner, such as sharing the child’s achievement in school.
  • - She could engage in non sexual touching like offering a back rub or head massage to bond with him.
  • - She shouldn’t mind her husband wanting to spend time with his colleagues who enlighten him on ways to deal with the problem, not make any unreasonable material demands and tell him he’s not alone.
  • - Tell him that both of you will get through it together and that you believe in his abilities.
  • - Ensure that he doesn’t blame himself. Assure him that everyone is in the same boat. Help him accept uncertainties and forgive himself for human errors, if any.
  • -  She can help de-stigmatize seeking professional help. If he is depressed, accompany him to a counselor.
  • - She could identify what brings him joy. Small things such as cooking his favorite meal, inviting his best friend over for dinner can help him.
  • - At times, when his is relaxed, she could lead, touch him sensually, with no pressure to perform, and see if he wants to take it forward.
  • - The woman, of course, has her own emotional and physical needs. She could channelize her libido in work and children, or sublimate her sexual urges in creative pursuits. If she is spiritually inclined, then prayer and meditation can give her comfort.
  • - She could also engage in self pleasuring from tome to time deal with her own heightened sexual urges.

I would love you to leave me a comment and let me hear your opinion. If you’ve got any thoughts, comments or suggestions for things we could add, leave a comment.

  • Luna

    All of this sounds good. But after a year of sexual rejection with moments of pretense for his younger friend all understanding is out the door. There’s a time to give up the ghost. I’ve reached mine.

  • Luna

    All of this sounds good. But after a year of sexual rejection with moments of pretense for his younger friend all understanding is out the door. There’s a time to give up the ghost. I’ve reached mine.

  • Katie

    @Luna: I think the best part it to get over it. You said that you have given up the ghost that’s fantastic but have you given it a second thought and talked to your partner again on this issue?
    Sometimes, simple talks can solve many problems.

  • Katie

    @Luna: I think the best part it to get over it. You said that you have given up the ghost that’s fantastic but have you given it a second thought and talked to your partner again on this issue?
    Sometimes, simple talks can solve many problems.

  • Mahony

    This is great for women, but what about men? What could be possible reasons for a women wanting to have sex less and less often, and when it happens it lacks the same spark it used to have? I’ve had trouble finding any articles that talk about women losing their sex drive so if you could point me in the right direction that would be great =)

  • Mahony

    This is great for women, but what about men? What could be possible reasons for a women wanting to have sex less and less often, and when it happens it lacks the same spark it used to have? I’ve had trouble finding any articles that talk about women losing their sex drive so if you could point me in the right direction that would be great =)

  • poppy

    I am absolutely shocked and appalled by this article. If it had been written in the 50′s, it would make sense; typical blaming the wife, treating her like a child, dismissing her need for sexual intimacy and her need to express her feelings, and urging her to continue to support an angry controlling man and his passive-aggressive behaviors towards her. Sexual rejection by a man toward a woman is one of the most insidious and damaging forms of abuse which degrades and punishes her sense of worth and systematically breaks down her self-esteem, thereby increasing her dependence on the man, and is almost indistinguishable from tactics used on prisoners of war.
    Telling women to “channel” their need for sexual intimacy into their “work” or their “children” is just outrageous. I suggest you get with the times and try to understand that women are human beings, human beings who have had to put up with men and their selfish need to control, their childish temper tantrums, their self centered childish immature BS by carefully negotiating around their fragile egos for centuries, while at the same time expected to be pretty, sexual, appropriate, cook well, sew well, work outside the home and manage a whole family, and like stepford wives, never complain, and keep up the good work….!.

    how about NO?. NO! NO !NO!. GROW UP! Take responsibility for your issues and stop blaming women for your own inadequacies. Enough already!

  • poppy

    I am absolutely shocked and appalled by this article. If it had been written in the 50′s, it would make sense; typical blaming the wife, treating her like a child, dismissing her need for sexual intimacy and her need to express her feelings, and urging her to continue to support an angry controlling man and his passive-aggressive behaviors towards her. Sexual rejection by a man toward a woman is one of the most insidious and damaging forms of abuse which degrades and punishes her sense of worth and systematically breaks down her self-esteem, thereby increasing her dependence on the man, and is almost indistinguishable from tactics used on prisoners of war.
    Telling women to “channel” their need for sexual intimacy into their “work” or their “children” is just outrageous. I suggest you get with the times and try to understand that women are human beings, human beings who have had to put up with men and their selfish need to control, their childish temper tantrums, their self centered childish immature BS by carefully negotiating around their fragile egos for centuries, while at the same time expected to be pretty, sexual, appropriate, cook well, sew well, work outside the home and manage a whole family, and like stepford wives, never complain, and keep up the good work….!.

    how about NO?. NO! NO !NO!. GROW UP! Take responsibility for your issues and stop blaming women for your own inadequacies. Enough already!

  • http://www.stylishandtrendy.com Katie

    @poppy: I think you have misread or misinterpreted the entire article. Please read it again. What you are saying is completely out of line. This article is about those women who feel that their spouse is suddenly less interested in them. In such situation how they should respond. I hope if you read it again you will know what i am saying.

  • http://www.stylishandtrendy.com Katie

    @poppy: I think you have misread or misinterpreted the entire article. Please read it again. What you are saying is completely out of line. This article is about those women who feel that their spouse is suddenly less interested in them. In such situation how they should respond. I hope if you read it again you will know what i am saying.

  • Lobitos

    absolutely agreeing with Poppy. I mean….are we supossed to shove this literature down our throath and cry ourselves to sleep while the other person deals with his BS?? WHAT ABOUT meeee??? what about us? what about our needs? sounds like we are doing a lot of catering and to be honest with you, nowadays with so much technology and so many other parts of the body to use except that…. GIVE US SOMETHING, throw us an efin’ bone for crying out loud. It’s ridiculous to be tittled “sex addicts” just because we have a physical and emotional need. The retard who wrote this must not generalize every couple is different and there are men out ther who actually use this as means for degrading and punishing the woman. UNREAL if a modern woman reads this and does not have a fit like I did.

  • Lobitos

    absolutely agreeing with Poppy. I mean….are we supossed to shove this literature down our throath and cry ourselves to sleep while the other person deals with his BS?? WHAT ABOUT meeee??? what about us? what about our needs? sounds like we are doing a lot of catering and to be honest with you, nowadays with so much technology and so many other parts of the body to use except that…. GIVE US SOMETHING, throw us an efin’ bone for crying out loud. It’s ridiculous to be tittled “sex addicts” just because we have a physical and emotional need. The retard who wrote this must not generalize every couple is different and there are men out ther who actually use this as means for degrading and punishing the woman. UNREAL if a modern woman reads this and does not have a fit like I did.

  • AM

    When my husband rejected me sexually after 10 years of marriage, I didn’t take it personally, even though sexual rejection is just as hard on a woman as for a man. I tried to communicate, which received ‘nothing’. I was patient and didn’t nag. I gave him space to work out anxiety issue since I knew he was unhappy with his current job and stressed out about it. I trusted him and didn’t get suspicious. And then came the fateful moment when I discovered his real issue: SEX ADDICTION. The rejection and emotional stress were direct results of his steamrolling addiction taking over our life. So, women, if your husband rejects you sexually, it is great to be patient, be kind, but also BE OBSERVANT, BE WARY, AND BE SUSPICIOUS. Maybe you don’t want to contront him and potentially add more stress, but be careful of the warning signs of extra marital sex, trust your gut instincts, and do your investigating as best you can!

  • Llll

    When is it time to finally just say Hey — Are we going to do this OR WHAT???

  • Deadea7676 Dm

    What should i think or feel if he is rejecting me sexually and pleasureing himself? Is it me??

  • http://www.stylishandtrendy.com/ Dev @ Women Magazine

    No it’s not you, it’s not him either. I think the you need to reignite the old flame between you, looks like the fire is dying and he is looking for pleasures via other sources. It’s time to take a vacation and start romancing like you did long back.

    Talk to him and figure out the root cause, is there some work related pressure?

  • Ghannam M Ali

    Hi .i hope that wiil work for many ppls .but i m sure there s other problem that we ddt understand both of (wife and husband) .yes i like more what rd now .
    My problem is my wife and i we use to have sex twis that 3time a week than nes a week than ones a month .i believe that i love to have sx with her .but she reject me evry time .we already discus about .she gives me reasons that ddnt conviks me .i m starting to tink about sheting and even maybe sh e do .what to do .i can t stope thinking about .
    Thak you
    Ali

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